Do not do that. I will kill you if you do. You will suffer: suffer
slowly and deliciously. Your body, I’ll scour, your spirit I’ll flay,
until you wise up and learn to obey.
Fear and obedience have been intertwined in culture and civilization
since their beginnings. Religious leaders, secular figures, even
parents and teachers in some cases, will bend the meek to their wills
and rules with threats and fear as motivation. Used in concert to
corral the sheep among us into behaving, they are as instrumental to
one another as the hammer and that… fucking thing on the back of some
hammers that you use to pull nails out or kill people. Not that you
couldn’t kill people with the hammer on its own, but the thing on the
back is like, waaaaay more brutal. Twin divots in the skull, pry it
back right and it’ll be like opening a can of sardines. Only, you
know, with brains inside. Whereas with the hammer itself, you’ll just
end up making a mess of mush. And nobody wants to eat mushed sardines.
One would presume the same for brains, really. Not that I’ve ever had
Come to think of it, you could probably kill someone with most things
in a well-stocked toolbox. One could quite handily give a skull canal
with a screwdriver. It’s like a root canal at the dentist. But it’s
not with a drill, and you just ram it right into… everybody got it?
Okay, good. Hmm. Pliers, bolt cutters, those are a little tame. I
mean, you could torture someone with them, but not actually kill them
unless you got either extremely creative, or unimaginatively jabbed
and stabbed with them. Oh wait, you know what the hardest tool to kill
someone with would be? A wrench. Minus boring old blunt force trauma.
I am feeling inspired. It is contest time. Alright, Shroudlings. A
prize both to the one who can name me the tool they feel is harder to
kill someone with than the wrench, and to the one who can dream up a
way to kill someone with a wrench beyond simply bashing in their skull
with it. Submit your ideas via the Contact Me form on the main page.
Edit: Dear god, Blag. I don’t even remember writing any of that stuff.
This was supposed to be a serious entry about … I don’t know,
nonconformity or something. It was supposed to tie into the second
track on the album somehow.
Do me a solid and erase everything after the bit about wills and
rules, would you? Thanks so much.